It's way too late for me to be just starting a blog post... so this will be interesting.
I have had a lot on my mind lately with regard to change. I've been making some big ones. Huge.
Life-changing, Huge and scary.
Letting go of a lot of people, and preconceived notions of what my life was supposed to look like. Transitioning into where I need to be.
It's funny. We all have these dreams. And then we make decisions in an attempt to reach our dreams. And sometimes the decisions don't turn out how we had envisioned them. Sometimes that is okay, sometimes it works out even better than what we had wanted, and sometimes.. sometimes life screws with us and the decisions we made, that we were so sure of, takes a right turn, or a U-turn, and does not fall in line with peace and happiness. Yet we are so committed to the decision, not the dream, that we stick with the path even though we know...
I'm not talking about quitting. I think the two terms, quitting and change, are confused way too often.
When I think about change I'm referring to a change in direction. A new path. Realizing the path that you are on is not headed in the direction you need to go. Or perhaps that the path you are on is nothing more than a continuous, never ending, circle through mud and muck.. and that you've been circling hoping the circle will straighten out and face the destination you're desperate for. Hoping the mud and muck might be interspersed with some flowers... and hills, and ...hope.
When you come to the point were you feel comfortable and confident and ready to ACCEPT things as they really always have been then the need to change is undeniable. The dream becomes so clear again. Even if you are not sure how you're going to achieve your dream, going nowhere is so much better than dashing in the wrong direction. Every situation and commitment deserved the opportunity to show it's true colors. To succeed, or die trying.
Every commitment deserves respect and honor. but you should also be able to clearly define why you entered the commitment in the first place... and is that reason still served by the commitment.
I'm not into airing my drama publicly in a single minded effort to try and control other peoples image and perceptions of me.. because I have news.. well old news:
Do what you feel in your heart to be right-
for you'll be criticized anyway.
You'll be damned if you do,
and damned if you don't.
There just isn't a lot you can do to control what others think of you. So you can spend precious time expending your energy trying to chase down each person who listens to gossip, or you can live your life.
I assure you, the people who matter most are the ones who are giving you the benefit of the doubt, and coming to you out of concern and concern alone. I have way to much I want to accomplish with my life to spend it chasing anyone down to justify my actions to them in an effort to "save my reputation."
Who cares what anyone else thinks,if I have peace in my heart?
I am not easily intimidated.
So change! If you know change is the right decision throw nervous anxiety and fear of the unknown to the wind. You deserve to live a full life.
To many people are living lives surrounded by locks and chains of their own design, self -consumed in the portrayal of how they want others to see them. Pretending. I used to be one of them.
Now, I am WonderCam.