Sunday, May 27, 2012

Creating Safety and Trust

It's my creed.  My statement of belief.

Before all else, before Love, and Trust, and Faith, and Passion and Commitment there must first come saftey.  If there is not safety then how can anything else be expected to survive?  We all have the natural instinct of self preservation, avoiding pain and discomfort.

Do we take RISKS?
Absolutely.  Until they proof to be too dangerous...  too risky. 

What is it about personal relationships that challenges our our basic common sense when it comes to safety?

You see a HOT fire.
::You don't stick your hand in it::

Yet there are certain people in our lives who hurt us, over and over again... and what do we do??  Keep going back for more. 

Maybe it's the hope that people can (and sometimes do) change? Maybe it's optomistic attitudes that tell us the good outweights the bad?  Maybe the person is so good at manipulation that the facts are discombobulated, and nothing seems as it is or was, and maybe YOU begin to feel responsible?

Maybe it's our life expereinces that make us feel like we deserve to be burned... or that we're going to be burned anyway, whether its here and now or in the next relationship. 

MAYBE we begin to feel like it's suppose to burn... and not in a Johnny Cash kind of way.  Maybe it burns for so long that burning becomes what is safe?

 What else is there?

xoxo Cam


Sandi Keene said...

Dear Sweet Cam,
It is amazing and puzzling why we allow ourselves to be caught up in relationships that are obviously troubled, onesided or just plain dysfunctional. It seems to happen to everyone at some point in our lives.

I think it has something to do with a formative relationship that we had that taught us that feeling unsafe, and perhaps even abused, was normal and par for the course. It isn't until we work our way through the emotional minefields in that relationship that we discover an new definition for relationship. We define new boundaries and expectations and when we feel unsafe we allow ourselves the option for heading quickly for the door and ending the relationship. We know what we will allow and what we won't.

I feel that once we do that we begin to feel safe and in control of our relationships and can finally open ourselves up to unconditional love - true and deep. We learn to give it as well as receive it. Our discernment abilities increase tenfold. You recognize a beautiful soul quickly and spot a troubled soul coming a mile away giving you plenty of time to change course.

That has been my experience. Just wanted to share it - but as always, I could be wrong. :)

AuBien said...

Camille - I understand on a heart level what you are saying - I've been there and am there. I don't understand why I keep being there. As Sandi said my discernment is better .. but I still keep sticking my hand in hot places. Eesch. Please keep sharing your wise words, Camille. You are helping me to sort through my own thoughts in a way I haven't been getting to on my own. {heart}