Monday, July 4, 2011

My Politically Incorrect Rant About Feeling Fluffy.

There is something that's been bugging me for a long time.  I haven't blogged about it before because I don't want to offend anyone.  But honestly,  I don't think most people are even aware of their behavior and how it is received.  

Raise your hand if you like to hear a thin girl talk about how out of shape she is...  or fat she is... or how she has gained weight?

Yeah, That's kinda what I thought you would say. 

Let me preface all of this by saying that I know there are women (and men) who have legitimate frustration of their weight, and they do not have options, or have very limited options, to do anything about it.  I understand medication and medical problems, can take control out of  your hands.  If anyone who is going through that right now is reading, I sincerely apologize if my post offends you in any way.  I in no way mean to say anything to belittle your situation. 

My current rant is really going out the to the people who can do something about their physical image, and choose not too... and then still complain about it. 

Do you know no matter what size you are it's still frustrating when your "skinny jeans" don't make you feel sexy, because you think you look like a stuffed sausage?  ... And your fat pants are your "new" skinny pants?

Do you know that it's frustrating to work very hard to stay in shape, and then stop being diligent for just a couple days, and be able to see a difference in your body.

Do you know it's frustrating to feel unsatisfied with the current state of your body, and want to talk to your close friends about it.. about why you feel down... and their response is::

Oh for real??  Don't talk to me about your skinny-ass problems! 

It's not much different than saying ,"shut up!  I know I'm not putting in the effort you're putting in, and for some reason that makes me feel justified to be able to complain about why I'm not getting the results you're getting." Telling someone thin you don't want to hear about what's bothering them isn't a compliment, it hurts.  And yes, I do know and understand that some women do try very hard and have a very difficult time with their weight. 

Most women who you would assume should be 100% happy with their bodies do still obsess about what's wrong with their figure, just as much as every other women.  So saying things like, "I'd be freakin' overjoyed if I looked like you!" is probably not a true statement, you might honestly believe that it's true right now... but losing weight is a slow process and it's hard to get rid of that mental block that tells you you're still out of shape.

Kudos. Kudos, kudos, kudos to the women who are completely confident in their bodies no matter the shape. I admire you so much. I would love to be like you... but I feel like I need to loose 5 more lbs... and then I'll be satisfied. Just 5 more pound.... There are always 5 more pounds. I've passed my 5 lbs goal several times and when I reach it... I just extend the goal. I'm still trying to lose just 5 more pounds.... that's my current goal, and I know when I do lose 5 lbs...  I'll feel like I need to lose 5 more. 

True. There are the women who really do complain about their weight in a way that makes it clear they are fishing for a compliment.  And yes, that is annoying.

The mentality that skinny people are skinny because they just are... and they don't have to work at it, ...they can just eat anything they want and have a perfect metabolism...  Yes, there are women like that, and it is OKAY to hate them.

I'm kidding!!  Relax!

But most women who are in shape work very hard at it.  I certainly went through an overweight phase.  Yup.  and no, I'm not talking about being a size 8 or something.  I was big.  Embarrassing big. There is a period of about 3 years that I do not have a single picture of myself.  When I had my children I gained....  are you ready for this... 50-60 lbs with each pregnancy....  and didn't know how to lose it.  Actually it wasn't that I didn't know how to lose it, I was just convinced that I was meant to be fat the rest of my life, and didn't think it was possible to be considered attractive.  It was completely in my head that I was suppose to be fat now.  Staying in shape is not easy for me... and it's not easy for most of the women I know who are in shape. 

When I say I'm feeling uncomfortable about my body.  It's because I'm feeling insecure.  And it's okay for a thin women to feel insecure sometimes.  Don't belittle her insecurity.  Don't verbally compare yourself to her, and tell her just how great she's got it.  Just validate her.  It's okay to say, "I think you look great, but I totally understand your frustration about not feeling satisfied."

I know I am thin.  I'm not particularly interested in necessarily being thinner.  But I am not very toned and I really want to do something about that.  I heard a fitness model say it best when she described herself, she was never heavy, but she was what she called "skinny-fat"  --small pant size, but low muscle, and high body fat content.  I use to run... everyday.  Now I don't do much of anything except watch my caloric intake.  I just seem to have so much more to do, and never have time. 

Excuses, excuses... I know they are.  I'm just not making it a priority. 

And so... Last Friday I bought myself a little pressie...

Are you as excited as I am??  Because I'm dang excited.  When I was a teenager I had a loft in my room.  Loft = ladder.  Ladder = pull ups.  Lots and lots of pull ups.  I use to be able to do 15...  now I can do three.  Coupled with my gymnastics background and even now I have good definition in my arms.  Not nearly as good as they use to be, but certainly not bad either.

I just want to keep them that way...  slow the age deterioration as much as possible.

Now I just wish there was something I could do for my abs that I love as much as chin ups...

I have a goal.  I want to be able to do 50 push ups in one set.  I'm only a third of the way there.  But I'm setting a goal publicly to be there by the end of the summer.

And I'm going to start running again. 


xoxo Cam

Hope you all still love me after this.


:Jayne said...

I still love you and I totally get what you are saying. It's one thing to be skinny and there's another to be skinny and toned.
I remember weighing 115 pounds just out of high school and feeling fat because I didn't have six pack abs.
Now, thirtyomgsomereallyhasitbeenthatlong years later, I realize I should have done something with those abs. And I was an athlete! Hang in there girl and drop and give me 10!

Alison said...

I love you and I totally totally get what you are saying. But you know I get it because we've talked at great length about it. Geez I hope it wasn't me who was shutting you down when you were complaining, I can't imagine how I could have cos I so get it, but... I have had a lot of stuff on my mind lately. I have been wearing the selfish hat quite a bit. I love you and your tiny jelly bits that you hide so well xox

Camille said...

Not a chance Alison! xoxo

Heather said...

I LOVE this post, and it's given me LOTS of food (fat free though!) for thought. I'm guilty of often saying... "i'd be thrilled to have your body" but you're right... she's working HARD at her body and I'm doing diddly squat. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, and it's helping me change my habits.

dianagirly said...

I know exactly what you are talking about!!!

mandbrid said...

Tony just walked in as I got to the bottom of this post and said " WOW girl! GUNS!!!" Too funny!

Emi said...

so... you don't like that i'm skinnyfat in my size double zero jeans because i have to shoot myself up three times a week with a controlled substance?

AuBien said...

I think it's important to be able to talk about the things that matter to us - even when someone else thinks those things should not matter to us. Isn't that what all of life and conversation is ... really? Finding people who will accept us with the things that matter to us?