I wanted something that I could keep with me.
And that I could use as an instrument to make it easier for other people to ask about my little boy.
And to make it clear that even though I am okay, I still think about him every hour of every day.
I finally got the design right to meet my needs.
I don't believe that my baby has wings. I don't believe that angels have wings at all. But I love the symbolism of the wing. To me, it symbolizes the ability to ascend unassisted.
When my baby was born, he had been gone for a couple weeks. I do have pictures of him, but the pictures are hard to look at, and I can't bare the idea of sharing the pictures with anyone who might not quite get how precious they are to me. Even if his little body wasn't...
So I have his ultra sound pictures. The last set of ultra sound pictures I have are from my last doctors appointment. I'm lucky to have them. He had already had his ultra sound several weeks before this, but the doctors baby heart monitor was not working so she used the ultra sound to check his heart beat, and printed some pictures for me while she was at it. He passed away approximately two weeks after this ultra sound.
I printed the picture on vellum paper so when you hold it up to the light you can see through the page.
On the reverse side is one of my favorite quotes, with a little extra I added. It says:
Having a baby is to forever have your heart go walking around outside of your body. Stillbirth changes nothing."
I have decided to sell the acrylic mini album. There are so many people I can think of in my own personal life who have lost a loved one to miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS, illness, cancer, accidents... It breaks my heart and it's so impossible for me to fathom how anyone can survive multiple losses. The pain would be unbearable.
Right now, the album is priced a little high because it's so difficult to cut. I am working on trying to have the album manufactured so I don't have to hand cut each one. If I can I will adjust the price, but it could be a while before I get there. If you need one now...