My Bestest has inspired me to try to blog more often... and so even though I said I was going to bed over an hour ago, here I am starting a new blog post. :)
After I lost my baby I was talking to a friend of min who had also lost a young child. She very insightfully pointed out that tragedy is like a movie. Whether it's happening to you or someone you know, the traumatized goes through some horrid mind numbing experience. The friends and those around watch, and offer sympathy, cry and sometimes offer a hand...
But eventually they movie ends. And they are ready for the movie to end. They want to move on with their life. They don't want to stay with you anymore in your darkness and fog. And so they move on, only remembering your pain on occasions and eventually forgetting and seeing the new you as the permanent you, whether you want it to be or not.
You become the _______.
The mother with empty arms
The single mom
The abused one
The depressed one
The sick one....
You are no longer you, but you have become your title.
Expected to be able to handle your burden by now...surely.
I don't want be that kind of friend. I don't think any of us do. I know I have been. I haven't always been there. It takes a supreme amount of love to stay after the credits have run and all that's remaining is the static. Sometimes it's hard to know how.
But I want to try.